How do I stop my perfectionism from stopping me starting tasks and goals?
How do you stop your perfectionism from preventing you from starting tasks and goals?
If you and I were in a coaching session, I would likely ask you about your childhood (say elementary school age) and ask you about the people who raised you. What type of people were they. Not to judge them, but more likely than not, they were very “black or white” thinkers. Kind of like “my way or they highway” types. Maybe your parents, aunts, uncles, teachers, grandparents or even your siblings. People who might come down on you hard if you made a mistake or did not have the answer. Or maybe you would be mocked or made fun of by your cousins or siblings or class mates.
If you did not have parents or caretakers or people around you with this type of thinking, then maybe you can pinpoint a specific incident in your lifetime where something kind of traumatic, shocking or hurtful, happened because you did not have the right answer or do something the way others might have wanted you to do it.
Something, either in your childhood or a specific incident, more likely than not, created this feeling of fear or need to not make a mistake and that is causing you to not start a task. After all, you might get it wrong or do it differently than expected. If it is not perfect then you might be seen as a failure and that would be devastating.
If you would like to, you can begin to tear down the idea that if you are not perfect you will be confronted in an uncomfortable way or feel pain in some way.
Perfectionism, once served you and was a good thing for you at some point in time. In fact every habit you have, resulted in something good for you, at some point in time. That is why your brain kept it and continues to have you behave in that way.
Only now, the habit no longer serves you and it will take conscious and intentional effort to change it. But once it is gone, you will be amazed at all of the new doors that open for you!