What areas of your life have you "settled" in and was that a conscious decision, due to circumstances or the result of unconscious actions?

If I understand the question correctly, you are asking what area(s) of life have I “settled” in… meaning I made a conscious decision not to change whatever it was that did not match my ideal.

 

On a temporary basis, many things I did not change purposely since I was intentionally working toward a different goal. For example, continuing to work as an attorney in a law firm I despised. I decided to stay at the firm until I literally could not take it anymore, but in the last few months, I was setting myself up to do something different. Different lifestyle, different work everything. So I consciously chose not to make a change in that moment since I was consciously working toward getting myself out.

 

But if you are asking if I have ever “Settled,” and kept something I did not like or want in my life, no. I have not. I do not believe that it is ever too late to get anything you want. A relationship, different work, anything. And with the work that I do, I see this truth all of the time. from 80+-year-old women who start making 6 figures when they were about to retire to relationships and families being build in peoples late 60’s.

 

This is not to say that one might not have to reframe certain ideals or ensure that what they are focusing on is really what they want.

 

It is always a good idea to uncover why we believe we really want a certain thing and how we define how that thing has to be or look.

 

For example, let’s say a young lady feels like she wants to be married by 23 and have her first child by 25 and her husband should be 6′ft tall well built and make 200k+ a year. and she will be a stay at home mom.

 

Well, why? why does she believe this is ideal? society, magazines, movies, church, family, friends, etc.?

 

Based on deepest, truest self, does this really match her or is it that she does not see anything outside of this ideal in that moment?

 

What will likely happen when she is 22 and not dating anyone and her ideal will not happen for her, she will begin to feel desperate… her energy will change, her mindset will change. This change will likely result in her repelling the specific type of man she was seeking or attract others who might not be a good fit.

 

All for what reason? because somewhere in her mind, deep in her soul, she solidified the idea that 23 was her cut off date for marriage. if she was not married by that time she was somehow deficient.

 

So maybe if she is able to reframe her ideal and let go of some of the rules in her mind, she can go out and actually create an amazing life.

 

You always have a choice. And at some level it is a conscious choice, a choice to act or not to act to change anything.

 

Thanks for asking me to answer this question. It was a great reflection for me and I hope it helped.