I have this mindset that whenever someone enters your life, they will eventually also leave you, that's why I don't trust anyone. My question is, how do I get rid of this mindset that I have?
I appreciate all of the answers others have stated and on some level their answers reflect a truth.
Yes, nothing is permanent and things as well as people will come in and out of your life.
Yes, you should focus on self-love, because when you love yourself enough, most of these types of fears diminish or disappear because you are no longer concerned with how others perceive you and should they need to exit your life you understand that is on them and what their needs are, not yours.
However, I think what you are saying is that this belief you have is actually creating issues in your life. You are not able to trust anyone in order to become close to them and enjoy a deep and meaningful relationship due to this belief that they will eventually leave you.
Understand, that this belief comes from something you experienced in the past and it is true for you. Further understand that this belief and the inability to trust and get close to anyone will perpetuate this result. As people spend time with you yet never get to feel like they connect with you, because you don’t trust them, they will eventually spend less time with you. But I think you understand all of this, hence your question, asking how to change your mindset.
Having worked with thousands of individuals to date, from professional athletes to high level executives to stay at home parents, the answer is simple but not always easy and I do not believe in a one-size fits all solution.
You are already halfway there. You have made a decision to make the change because the current mindset is not bringing you to your happy end result.
Next, you can do one of two things, simply install the new thought / mindset you want to be true for you or dig deep to understand the root cause of why you currently have this belief. For me, I am a super nerd and all into psychology and neuroscience and my intellectual self always want to know why. So for me, I engage in certain exercises to uncover the root causes. Many times for me, just know what the cause was, will eliminate the issue on the spot. Sometimes, I still have to do the work to change the belief.
There are dozens of ways to install a new belief, from affirmations, positive psychology, subliminals, hypnosis, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Havening, EFT, EMDR, NLP and more. My two go to methods are NLP and Hypnosis. By use of NLP you will disrupt the brain - body connection for the cause of the belief. You will lessen the emotional impact of the past events that created the current mindset and you can install new thoughts and beliefs. With Hypnosis you are able to reach the subconscious directly and instantaneously to make whatever adjustment you seek.
And I love this time period, because you can easily do an internet search to learn more about any of the above techniques.
Hope this was helpful,
Kirsten Franklin, Esq.
Strategist l Coach l Speaker l Founder